For all the platitudes you receive for “How noble it is a thing you’re doing”, “I couldn’t do it myself,” “It’s a really great thing for you to do” – it’s a small consolation for the profound isolation, and quite often, the overwhelmingly negative experience it is to be a Carer – non-professional and unpaid.

Perhaps there is some pride to be taken for the fact that you’re probably the only person in the world who can do this job for that specific person. No one else, right now, knows the person you’re caring for the way you do – their nuances, their rhythms, the way they like to do things. They’re also used to, and comfortable with the way you care for them – arguably a little bit too comfortable at times.

To replace you, would take years of building a new relationship, a new way of being, developing a new level of comfort arising from an arduous journey of mutual compromise without time-scale.

You are irreplaceable. You can take pride in that and all you do.

But you are also the only one in the world who knows it.



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